Adoption Class

Well, this weekend Craig and I attended the intro class with the agency that we have chosen to work with. The meeting wasn't what I expected at all...and that's a good thing. I was fully expecting to be given scary statistics in hopes of weeding those couples out who were on the fence with adoption. Instead, our presenter provided very encouraging data AS WELL as his own personal experience of going through the adoption process with the agency itself.

At the end of class, if we wanted to move forward with the adoption process, we were told to highlight our name on the sign-in sheet and they would email us our application. To my surprise, Craig went ahead and highlighted our name. Why was I surprised?? Because Craig is a processor. He needs time...time to think about what he just heard, time to talk about his thoughts/ideas with me, time to just let it all sink in. So...yes, I was surprised when he went ahead and highlighted our name...without even giving me a wink or a nod. That was super encouraging to me...just to know that I'm not dragging him through the process kicking and screaming.

After the meeting, Craig and I had some time to talk. Our feelings were not what I imagined them to be. I was expecting to be overwhelmed with joy about moving forward...but instead, I found myself moving forward in obedience. Now, hear me out...because there are a TON of dimensions to my emotions after this meeting. My first overwhelming feeling came in the middle of the class...and I was overwhelmed with passion for the agency's mission. I found myself thinking of how I could be a part of their ministry. Whether through adopting, volunteering, teaming up with my church...I was just searching for a way that I could be a partner with them. As for the adoption process itself...it's a lot to take in. All of these thoughts started running through my mind: How old is our child going to be? What will they have seen and been a part of? What will they be bringing to our home? How will this affect Emily? Can this hurt Emily in any way, shape, or form? It is all just a lot to think about and take into consideration. It's not just Craig and Heather anymore...we have to think about Emily and make sure that she is protected physically and mentally through this. BUT...it just helps to talk about these things out loud, because as Craig and I were sharing our thoughts/worries with each other...I felt led to say, "You know, it's not as though this is a random process. Whatever child is placed in our home...God already knows. God already has that child chosen for us and that child needs us." Craig and I both felt a sense of peace with that being said. It's so true...we have nothing to worry about at all. This entire process is a God thing, and I am encouraged and honored to be a part of God's plan. James 1:27

James 1:27 ~ Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

I was recently emailing a friend, who told me how excited she was about us attending the adoption class and how she couldn't wait to hear about it. I remember replying to her email saying that I was excited too...but still a bit frustrated with God...thinking that my battle of infertility was over once we had Emily, and how upsetting it is to continue to struggle with it. I thought that I had paid my dues...I had a strong testimony, I was sharing with others, encouraging others...why do I have to keep struggling with infertility. BUT, as I was replying to my friend, literally as I was typing...it dawned on me...this could, maybe...just possibly, be God placing his hand on the direction that He needs Craig and I to move in. Maybe, just maybe, there is a child out there that needs Craig and I...that God has chosen to become a part of our family...and if I were to get pregnant as easily as I would have like to have gotten pregnant...it would just continue to postpone that calling in our lives. I don't know...I may never know, BUT I do know that I want to be obedient to God. I know for a fact that Craig and I have a calling in this direction, and I am honored to continue to be used by God.