Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Saturday, November 29, 2008
After time had passed from receiving our negative IVF results and we were able to gain some sort of healing, we both came to an understanding that God must have a different plan for us in starting our family. A few weeks after our IVF procedure, our Pastor announced that he was going to begin a new series answering questions that the congregation had. All we had to do was to go to the church website, and submit a question. From there, he would choose a few to give a message on.
At the time, I was completely lost as to what I understood in regards to our procedure...more specifically the embryos that we lost. I had received a few different explanations from friends and families around us: "You have every right to mourn, you lost five children." "You need to move on, there was no life in those embryos." My husband and I have always believed that life begins at conception, therefore, we considered our five embryos to be life; whether they were in my uterus or in a petri dish. I think that it hit home for us, when the embryologist showed us the video of him fertilizing each egg and then watching them grow each day from two cells, to four, and finally to eight. It was truly amazing to watch.
Once we received the tragic news that we were not pregnant, my mind got the best of me. Considering that they were "life", a part of me wondered if they were in heaven. Are they in an incubator in heaven or are they already full grown? If they aren't full grown, then who is watching over them and taking care of them as a baby? What do they look like? I wondered if they were looking down on Craig and I. If they are in Heaven, I can't believe that they are in the presence of God right now. How amazing. I mean, if you think about it...our kids had to be pretty special for God to want them in Heaven as quickly as he did.
Writing Letter About Infertility
With so many questions...I decided to submit them to our Pastor, not thinking in a million years that he would choose my question to make a message out of. Well...he did...and I cried through the entire thing. Needless to say, I had to get a copy of the message so that I could actually hear it. I feel that our Pastor touched on an extremely difficult topic with much grace.

Click on the link below if you would like to hear the message. I had to shorten it up a bit because the file was too large...but the meat of the message is still there:                            
Pastor Dean's Message: "When Does Life Begin"

At the end of the message, Pastor talked about how precious life is and he made an altar call to women...women who have had abortions and also to women who were considering having an abortion. He asked them to come forward for prayer so that they could receive forgiveness from themselves and from that they would know and be able to receive God's love for them, that He still loves them no matter what is in their past and that He still has an amazing plan for their life. Our church has a total of five services, and of those five services, hundreds of women went forward!!!
Craig and I left that Sunday and I remember telling Craig that if our four years of "hell" were so that Pastor could give that that those women could receive forgiveness from themselves and from that ONE PERSON could change her mind on having an abortion...than I would do it all over again in a heart beat!


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